The route to a dark place

I was speaking a while ago to Doris* an intelligent, sensitive, loving lady who felt completely broken, and had done for many many years.

Life had pushed her to the limit of endurance a number of times and she had bounced back.

There were tales of when she had been a truly passionate, wild, woman.

She had been a ferociously heroic, determined, mother. She had performed miraculous feats in order to protect her children and give them as good an upbringing as she could muster. She had faced dangers and hardship pretty unimaginable for most of us.

Now though, the woman I saw was burnt out, the passion had dwindled, and she felt completely spent.

She reeled off such a list of different things tried over the years – antidepressants, counselling, group therapy, etc. nothing had worked. Worse, some things had actually caused more problems.

Now she said “I can’t see the tunnel, let alone the light at the end of it“.

*not her real name

This can happen to any of us


How often do you push yourself to the limit, run your batteries down, for a cause? Work? Family? Even hobbies we love can drain us when we give too much.

Sometimes this gradual decline and loss of vitality happens gradually to many of us unnoticed, or we put it down to ‘old age’.

Other times we can see it happening but the situation is such that we can’t even see a way out (like Doris). Perhaps there is someone dependent upon us and we just can’t get relief for one reason or another. That is incredibly hard to bear.

I got to my own dark place and nearly at breaking point in the late 1990s . My career was going reasonably well but the rest of my life at complete rock bottom. My alcoholic husband was taking my life down with his and home life was pretty unbearable. I have written about that elsewhere so won’t repeat it.

The point I wanted to make is I really do know what it is like to be scratching around just about holding things together.

There is a way out

I also, as a consequence, know how to get out of these situations as well and would like to help others bypass some of the mistakes I made.

Finding complementary therapies and self-help of many types gave me the motivation, a big sticking plaster and coping strategies which gradually put me back together again.

I was fortunate and got out of it but it took all my strength to achieve, and a few years of my life.

My conclusion:

  • There are drug free, safe and effective ways to rekindle your fire, your zest for life, your joie de vivre.
  • It could take a while (I remember the day I started to whistle and sing to myself again – some two years on from hitting rock bottom).
  • There isn’t “one size fits all” – you’ll need a unique blend of things to lift you and then truly entrench the improvements into your life. It is so worth it though – you could end up with your own unique life support system that will put that spring back into your step whenever you feel it going.
  • You can do it all remotely – without having to leave home and visit someone. It works extremely well.

I continue to build this knowledge and hone my skills to this day for myself and my clients.

Please, if you are in that dark place, take my word for it that there is so much out there available to help you!

Get in touch with me, or at least speak to some complementary therapists and find one who you feel comfortable with and believes he/she can give you the support you need. Our bodies have an amazing ability to heal when the right triggers are found.


Do something –  Take the first step to get into your sunshine at the end of the tunnel!


Note: always seek advice from your GP before making any changes to medication.

Trading as Refreshing Horizons Limited registered in England and Wales. Reg. No. 7090368
Reg. Office: 1 Sycamore Close, Sibford Gower, Banbury, Oxfordshire OX15 5SB

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