Grief is an emotion that can linger for a long time, perhaps for life. The last thing we want is to end up stuck and not moving on through the process so that the pain eases a bit.

Major incidences of grief are often triggered by loss.

Bereavement, the death of a person (or animal) dear to us, often comes to mind for grief. There are however many other types of loss that can trigger grief. I’ve shown some examples below:

• Relationship breakups – romantic and family/friendships can cause tremendous amounts of grief.
• A loved one moving away (e.g. emigrating) or becoming estranged (e.g. grandparents losing touch with grandchildren after divorce).
• Losing the person –  growing apart through taking different paths in life or personality changes, such as through an illness (such as Dementia or an addiction) that takes the person we know away from us.
• Loss of something else dear to us, such as a job or house.

These situations can trigger a feeling of great grief, yet we might not see that way and make allowances for ourselves at these times. In a similar way to losing a family member, we need to adjust and allow time to heal.

Bereavement

This is the big trigger for grieving. There is a painful, yet natural, grieving process for the loss of someone very significant to us and this may easily take a couple of years . It is painful to get through all those anniversaries; those visits to places that bring back memories; our changing relationships with friends etc. . Then there are all the unexpected little things that catch us unawares and leave us feeling raw emotionally. This is all so called ‘healthy’ grieving!

Expectations of others can be challenging. Some friends and family might tell us to get on with our lives yet we don’t feel ready. Do listen though, and consider though whether there might be some truth in this and you might be stuck.

It is possible to get “stuck” in a particular stage of grief. Unable to move on, to come to terms with the new life that has to be lived, or to find the energy and motivation to do anything much.

Recognising that we are stuck is difficult sometimes to see ourselves. If you are feeling low and don’t know what to do about it then consider getting some support from a holistic practitioner.

I recommend holistic therapies because they look at everything that is going on for the individual. Rather than dulling everything down (like an anti-depressant might*), the aim is to trigger a return to balance. This might just be kick starting the natural grieving process to resume and complete in a way that is healthy for that individual.

I am a registered homeopath as well as a practitioner in other holistic therapies. When someone struggling after bereavement consults with me, I often find that physical ailments crop up alongside the grief. Appetite and digestion changes. New aches and pains. Energy levels and motivation might be lower. Sleep patterns are usually disturbed from the start.

Slowly and gently we can address many of these things and life can begin again for you with a slightly different perspective no doubt.

A package of support to start to pull things back together without adding to the stresses. A friendly person you can talk to in confidence can be most refreshing too.

*Do take medical advice if you have any concerns and certainly before changing any medications. This article is aimed at those seeking alternative ways to trigger natural healing

Self-help

If you prefer to try self-help, there are some examples below of things you could try.

(Note: It is far more effective to seek professional advice from someone who can look at you and your situation as a whole. We tend to hide things from ourselves!)

Homeopathic remedies

Selected from those readily available:

• Ignatia is a wonderful grief remedy and can be given straight away to support the natural grieving process. Indications for its use later are that the person is unable to accept the loss, so bottling up the grief and might fluctuate between that and sobbing hysterically. Often he/she wants to be alone and dislikes consolation, perhaps being over-sensitive to criticism. Involuntarily sighing might be noticed.
• Natrum Muriaticum is useful if the person is stoically suffering the grief in silence (stiff upper lip). He/she might be suffering alone or just confide in one or two people. The grief feels very stuck and the remedy allows it to move on.
• Staphisagria – This is for a person with a lot of suppressed emotions and a lot of apprehension for the future. Perhaps a hypochondriac. There is often indignation about things done by others too. This remedy builds self-confidence.
• Lachesis – great sadness combined with anxiety. The person is talkative and may be very volatile emotionally. Tends to get left-sided symptoms.
• Arsenicum Album – very anxious. Perhaps doesn’t want to meet anyone, feels he/she has offended them. Sad and tearful. Exhausted.
• Merc Sol – Grief with fear at night. Quite a quarrelsome and complaining disposition.

There are thousands of remedies available. Consulting with a homeopath will help you to find the right one more quickly. Many, like me, provide Skype or phone consultations. To visit one near you go to www.findahomeopath.org

Essences

can also be a great support

Bach Flower essences – Rescue remedy can be given immediately to help support the person through any shock and it is can help if the person is feeling particularly anxious or stressed.

Alaskan Essences:

• To help the person to contact, open to and release grief carried in the physical body—Chrysocolla, Cotton Grass, Diopside, Ladies’ Mantle, Reindeer Moss
• To support, balance, and nurture the emotional process during the grieving process—River Beauty, Tidal Forces, White Fireweed

Getting support

Bio-resonance/bio-energetics is the tool I most frequently use for people suffering from grief. It is gentle, easy for you (you just wear something called an e-Pendant), and provides tremendous support.

We can speak on the phone/skype and it is (and I am) there for you as you deal with all the changes and emotional ups and downs.

Find out more on my blog about this here.